The ABC's you never learned in school: Polygamy Porter, insights from Homer Simpson and everything you need to know about beer.
Time to learn the real ABC’s!
Before 3 years ago I would never had called myself a "beer person". I just didn't like the bitter after-taste I felt most bottled beers had. Then I had my first microbrew from a local brewery here in Colorado and everything changed. After we launched Rocky Mountain Brew runs I set out on a journey to learn all I could about beer and the lingo. Enjoy!
- Lauren Jones
Ales are beers fermented with top fermenting yeast. Ales typically are fermented at warmer temperatures than lagers, and are often served warmer. The term ale is sometimes incorrectly associated with alcoholic strength.
B: Bung Hole
Despite what you think, this is a real term. Not just slang from an episode of Beavis and Butthead. The round hole in the side of a cask or older style keg, through which the vessel is filled with beer and then sealed with a bung
C: Craft Brewery
According to the Brewers Association, an American craft brewer is small, independent and traditional.
Small: Annual production of 6 million barrels of beer or less (approximately 3 percent of U.S. annual sales). Beer production is attributed to the rules of alternating proprietorships.
Independent: Less than 25 percent of the craft brewery is owned or controlled (or equivalent economic interest) by a beverage alcohol industry member that is not itself a craft brewer.
Traditional: A brewer that has a majority of its total beverage alcohol volume in beers whose flavor derives from traditional or innovative brewing ingredients and their fermentation. Flavored malt beverages (FMBs) are not considered beers.
Consumption of too much alcohol. Often leading to an impaired state where you may:
a). Dance on the bar-top
b). Get some late night Taco Bell, eat too many Chalupas and then spend the next day on the toilet
c). "I love you man, I mean I really, like, love you."
Ethyl alcohol, the colorless primary alcohol constituent of beer.
The chemical conversion of fermentable sugars into approximately equal parts of ethyl alcohol and carbon dioxide gas, through the action of yeast. The two basic methods of fermentation in brewing are top fermentation, which produces ales, and bottom fermentation, which produces lagers.
A jug- or pail-like container once used to carry draught beer bought by the measure at the local tavern. Growlers are usually ½ gal (64 oz) or 2L (68 oz) in volume and made of glass. Brewpubs often serve growlers to sell beer to-go. Often a customer will pay a deposit on the growler but can bring it back again and again for a re-fill. Growlers to-go are not legal in all U.S. states.
What you call your husband after he’s gone too long without a bruski
The art of making beer at home. In the U.S., homebrewing was legalized by President Carter on February 1, 1979, through a bill introduced by California Senator Alan Cranston. The Cranston Bill allows a single person to brew up to 100 gallons of beer annually for personal enjoyment and up to 200 gallons in a household of two persons or more of legal drinking age. Learn more from the American Homebrewers Association.
Who out there is Homebrewing? What is your favorite brew creation and what did you name it?
I. International Bitterness units:
A system of indicating the hop bitterness in finished beer.
J. “Just Lauren”.
My name at a recent Hash House Harriers run I attended. The HHH is an international “drinking club with a running problem”. After running 4 miles in a tutu and crown chasing a “hare” and following false trails marked by chalk symbols refreshed by beer and shot stops along the way we finished to some more drinking and raunchy songs. Needless to say, I will be looking for the next HHH run wherever I travel.
One-half barrel, or 15.5 U. S. gallons. A half keg or, 7.75 U. S. gallons, is referred to as a pony-keg. I will take one please.
Beers produced with bottom fermenting yeast strains, Saccharomyces uvarum (or carlsbergensis) at colder fermentation temperatures than ales. This cooler environment inhibits the natural production of esters and other byproducts, creating a crisper tasting product.
M. Martin, as in Dean Martin:
“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
N. Noble Hops:
Traditional European hop varieties prized for their characteristic flavor and aroma. Traditionally these are grown only in four small areas in Europe:
Hallertau in Bavaria, Germany
Saaz in Zatec, Czech Republic
Spalt in Spalter, Germany
Tettnang in the Lake Constance region, Germany
Note: Rocky Mountain Brew runs hosted a brew run at Prost Brewing, a brewery in Denver, CO that specializes in authentic German beers.
O. Oatmeal Stout:
Oatmeal is added to the mash, which gives a smoothness and creaminess to the stout. It has more restrained flavors and less alcohol than Imperial stout. Samuel Smith makes a benchmark oatmeal stout, with notes of fruit, licorice, chocolate and toffee.
P. As in “Beer Pong”:
A game popular on many college campuses.
Polygamy Porter, “Why have just one”? Again, this is a real beer!
Q. As in it’s time for another Quote:
Here are a couple good ones from Homer, Homer Simpson:
“Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!"
"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
"Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg."
Is known for its Primus Beer; Urwagwa, which is a beer made from fermented banana juice and sorghum flour. This beer is gluten free and some US microbrewers are starting to use sorghum flour in the creation of local gluten free brews. The Brew run at Pateros Creek Brewing included their Greyrock Gluten-free Orange Cream Ale, out of all of their traditional beers I sampled on tap that was my favorite!
S. “Santa’s Butt”:
Yes, this is the name of a real brew
As in I am slurrring my worrds affer too many burrss
U. Under the influence:
Know your limit! The average 150lb person is considered legally impaired after only 2 drinks (one 12oz glass beer/5oz wine, one shot liquor). See how much you can safely have HERE.
V. How many Varieties of beer are there??
According to Didyouknow.com, Worldwide, 20,000 brands of beer are brewed in 180 styles, from ales, lagers, pilsner and stouts to bitters, cream ales and iced beers. However, there are differing opinions on what constitutes as a beer “style”. It is an open debate!
One of the four ingredients in beer. Some beers are made up by as much as 90% water. Globally, some brewing centers became famous for their particular type of beer, and the individual flavors of their beer were strongly influenced by the brewing water’s pH and mineral content. Burton is renowned for its bitter beers because the water is hard (higher PH), Edinburgh for its pale ales, Dortmund for its pale lager, and Plzen for its Pilsner Urquell (soft water lower PH).
NOTE: Coors was made famous worldwide by its brews made from Rocky Mountain spring water. GO COLORADO!
A native Brazilian Indian beer recipe that is exported from the Amazon region. It is black, somewhat thick, and tastes kind of like a sweet stout and is widely available in many of the largest specialty wine and liquor stores.
During the fermentation process, yeast converts the natural malt sugars into alcohol and carbon dioxide gas. Yeast was first viewed under a microscope in 1680 by the Dutch scientist Antonie van Leeuwenhoek; in 1867, Louis Pasteur discovered that yeast cells lack chlorophyll and that they could develop only in an environment containing both nitrogen and carbon.
As in Frank Zappa, who said: “ You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”
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